Thursday, September 9, 2010

Suggestions to Environmental Nuts


As the "eco" movement moves to... ridiculously nuts path, it bombards your everyday life with propaganda & no truth. From your kids' Nick Jr. program every morning to your corporate email: "please think of the environment when you print this email," blah blah blah the list goes on. The most hilarious attempt done by our lovely Sheryl Crow on saving "green" here stirs up some memories that I'd like to share with you. Maybe Sheryl can learn from it too. It was amusing hearing her suggest that we should only use 1 square of toilette paper per sitting (umm...we need a demo here, Sheryl). Back in Vietnam when I grew up, farmers used dried banana leaves or newspaper for toilette paper, just crumble them up. (As it's probably hard to find dried banana leaves here unless you move to the jungle, I suggest we use the useless newspaper, dear Sheryl, perhaps the "New York Times"?) Their "toilette" was a small wooden/tin fort built in the middle of a pond, where they raise some catfish in. 
As soon as something dropped down there, a startling noise occurred as the fish jumped up for food. Know what they do with the fish, eh? I hope you still enjoy catfish as much as shaking Sheryl Crow's hand.
Us city dwellers just used plain old water. You do you business, get off your throne, fill a bucket of water, dump it in the toilette to flush (no flush-able toilette, baby!), then you proceed to the floor, get another cup of water & wash your behind, dry with a reusable cloth. How environmentally wonderful is that?
You would think the people in Vietnam were so environmental conscious? Not really. It was just the utmost poverty driven by Communism. I suggest all our liberal celebrity friends move to Vietnam (the country side, where the dirt poor live) for a month (well, a week should suffice) to learn ideas on saving "green." I won't object if you just stay there & maybe do some real "good" for the earth: stay out of the way to prosperity!